"If you're going through hell, keep going" -Winston Churchill

"Successful leadership is learning how to disappoint people at an acceptable pace" -Marty Linsky - Harvard University

I am pretty confused these days, which I accredit to, among other things, the fact that I'm a typical aging Baby Boomer. The events of 9/11 thrust me, and many others, into a new world of reality that I had not before experienced.

My parents were loving, but not very expressive in that love. We never had a lot, but we had enough. I had a used bike, and used baseball cleats, but I was happy and content.

We knew our parents loved us but also sensed that after experiencing the "Great Depression" in their youth, and then the great World War in their early 20s, they developed a strong bond with one another.

I was raised in a middle class upbringing in the sunset district. I never doubted for one minute that my parents loved me, and I didn't need to hear it 20 times each day. My parents believed, rightly so, that nobody ever kissed their ass and they sure as hell weren't going to kiss mine. Their mantra was, " We love you, we want you to be successful in life, but we aren't going to hold your hand along the way. Go on out there and make your own way in life. If somebody knocks you down, get up and move on. If somebody punches you in the face, punch them back and see wear the cards fall."

The common bond I shared with my father was sports. Listening to a Giant's game on the radio or going to a 49er game at Kezar stadium was all I really needed. When I played a good game in a team sport my dad would always dwell on what I didn't do rather then what I accomplished, and while that may be responsible for some of my own insecurities, it taught me to never except the status quo, and never be satisfied with my accomplishments because there is always so much more I can do.

My parents could afford to send me to St. Ignatius because the price was manageable and not yet the elitist institution that it and other private schools have become. I remember doctors actually coming to our house when someone was sick and charging very little for a house call. More simple times, sure, but not without many of the same fundamental challenges that confront us today. I think most of us became strong, self reliant people that really didn't expect any hand outs and pretty much knew we had to make our own way in the world and with the exception of our family and a few close friends nobody really gave a damn whether we lived or died.

We also had a comfortable existence without many of the challenges our parents faced growing up. We became creatures of habit who believed in right and wrong, and imbedded ourselves in our own cultural and historical perspectives.

9/11 and the economic melt down of the first decade of the new century was a wake up call to our own sense of security. Retirement plans changed, saving accounts dwindled, effective education for our children threatened.

For the first time in our lives many of the things we took for granted were now being threatened and we were scared. People often ask me why more of our members have not entered the DROP program, and I tell them it is fear of the unknown, fear of letting go, fear of the finality of saying goodbye to a profession that has become so much of who we are. We are loyal people who do not want to lose contact with so many of the great friends we have met along the way.

When Heather Fong finally stepped down, I knew the challenges for me as president of this organization would be great. I was fully aware that Chief Gascon was not being hired to maintain the status quo. I also knew that there were many older members who were not going to accept change easily. I was aware that we were heading for a cultural and historical head-on that was going to disrupt the status quo and the POA was going to be right smack in the middle.

I lost many nights of sleep trying to figure out how to help move the department along in a positive way, while fighting for and retaining our members' hard won labor rights. Issues loomed like a storm on the horizon; Decentralization of the Investigative Bureau; civilianization, rising costs of health care and pension benefits; modern benchmarks of efficient law enforcement in today's world. My role is to help bring a woefully archaic and antiquated police department into the 21st century, but to do so with minimal disruption to those who have become very set in their ways and abhor change.

These are very tough issues with no clear answers. I am doing the best I can to walk the tight rope between effective change and unnecessary change. While we have done a remarkable job advancing the wages, benefits, and working conditions of our members another new challenge will arise today, tomorrow, and everyday thereafter that will help some, and adversely affect others. All I can do is the best I can to respect all of your concerns and as I quoted Marty Linsky at the beginning of my article, "To disappoint you at an acceptable pace" before you tire of me and look for a better alternative.

I will remind my fellow Baby Boomers of one very important fact. We are the sons and daughters of the greatest generation. We are tough and self reliant with a tremendous ability to adapt to change. Remember the lessons of our parents and just keep moving forward because in the end that is our only option.